In the midst of the holiday spirit yesterday I left school with the last thing I did was wrapping handknit hats for each of our 41 kids as part of their Christmas gifts. Then I went to the vet.
I dreaded the visit. I have been through two surgeries myself the past couple of months and have a third surgery this Friday. My trip to the vet brought exactly what I dreaded, news of another upcoming surgery.
This time not for me, but for my sweet boy, Dakotah, on the 22nd. My beloved golden retriever. Not much of a Christmas gift for him. Or me for that matter. 😦
A week from Thursday I will be dropping him off at the vet to have a peanut/pecan as they described it size mass removed from his chest. A mass I just found last week. A mass the vet wants to immediately remove due to its coloring and sensitivity. Ugh! 😦 I know he’s just a dog. But he’s my dog. And he truly is my best friend. And he doesn’t deserve the big C word.
My initial reaction was to cry out to God “Enough!” Enough surgeries! Enough bills that go along with them! Enough stress! Enough! There is nothing graceful about growing old for me. 😦 I’m spent! Physically, emotionally, and economically.
Like every pre-op emotion brings, I once again shed a few tears. I took a deep breath and shook off the fear that overcame me. I said a little prayer hoping with it my anxiety would subside. Then I heard the ever so quiet voice in my soul whispering to me. “Be still and know I am God.” Enough you say? I am enough. Trust in me.
I’m immediately calmed.
With all these surgeries, I have given great thought to life itself. It’s frailty. How intricate our bodies actually are. In their make up and their function. How easy health and life itself can slip out of our grasp. How blessed we truly are to have the medical advances we have to prolong a longer healthier lifestyle. For us. And for our four legged companions. How blessed we are to have a God that loves us looking out for us. The same God that holds up each star in the sky holds me. And Dakotah..
That’s pretty awesome.
With that, I slip away to myself. As always, my sweet dog, Dakotah, follows. To the safety of God’s arms. It’s time to be still. And know He is God.
Today is a new day. No longer time to be still. Time to jump back in the saddle and surround myself with life. Vibrant, young life. So off I will go to Jenks West Elementary. Not the vet. While Dakotah stays home this trip. And sleeps. And dreams of whatever sweet thoughts canines dream of. But no more poking and prodding or shots for him today. Just sweet slumber.
Here’s to life’s ups and downs. The highs of Christmas. The lows of surgeries. They are all necessary in making us who we are. They are inevitable. It’s how we deal with them that matters. Here’s to my learning how to grow old gracefully. May you too! ♡
But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds, declares the LORD, because you are called an outcast, Zion for whom no one cares. Jeremiah 30:17
Love and laughter,